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Hour 40. This should be the last, luckily. I have one opacity tweak left and then I can render the opening titles. The closing ones are rendering now, 'bout halfway done.

I should eat soon. It's been about 8 hours. Or I could just go home and pass out.

Yeah. I think that's better.

Home by 1AM! That's the goal here, folks.

I will have spent 29 hours in this school (for this one session) by the time I leave.

Last update for the next bit, I swear.

Also, I'm very disappointed by the lack of interesting blogging happening here today. What gives, people?!
I wanna make a bet that I'll last til tomorrow morning tho. At this rate, I won't get a computer before 8 tonight.

I had just drifted off on my couch (got home at 1, showered, had lunch, opened birthday parcel, immediately inhaled Lindor bunny), when Heather D. called me and told me there were problems with the end credits. I need to re-export them at a higher resolution, and apparently my teacher has objections to Tiff wanting "Special thanks to God" in her titles. I wasn't getting into it. Not my problem, I just make the titles look fancy and make sure they work. Nice little worker elf. They need to be done ASAP, she says. You need to get in here before Sam goes home.

So, half-asleep and buggered to hell, I stumble out of my house. Get to school to find out that the two computers that have the titling program on are in use for the time being. So I'm sitting around waiting for someone to leave so that I can make some stupid little credit look less "egotistical", in the words of the benevolent prof.

FML.

There's a 24-hour studio sit-in tonight though with breakfast in the morning so, like I said, I might try to last until then.

If I die, feed my cats.

:)
Not tired or exhausted, just a general drowsiness that's easily remedied by dancing to Cobra Starship in the editing suite. No one else is here yet.

Got my titles finished. Just waiting on a couple of confirmations for names, placements, etc. and then I'm good to start exporting this shit. Then it's DVD design. I think I have to do the menus, too. But that is for this weekend.

Anyway, back to dancing.
So I have good days and bad days. Seems kinda stupid, given the situation. But I've never really been one for rationality when it comes to emotion and such, so I guess all's normal with me.

Like today. Today was a normal, life-loving day. The sun was out and it was gorgeous and warm and the city smelled and sounded like a city should; and like Halifax, too. Sometimes I find this city smells more like Liverpool, and all of a sudden I'm five again and eating cream buns on the bus. I went to work, and it was okay, but I hung onto that good mood all day. I wish I had more days like that. I try to.

But there's still a part of me that's sad. And it sounds dumb, but it's the truth. The closest I can describe it is homesickness. Like I'm missing something everyday, something that's a part of who I am. I felt it when I moved into the city and I feel it now. Sometimes people just become a part of you that way. I felt it when Jill, Ang, and I stopped talking. It's a hole left by something intensely familiar. And you think that just maybe if you can keep it with you, someday it'll be able to fit back there again. But things change, and people change, and emotions change. They don't want to fit back there. Even if they did, they probably couldn't.

That all sounds really weird, but I hope you understand it. A hole left by something intensely familiar. That's the closest I've come to describing it. Homesick for a person. Makes sense. What is home without the people who fill it? Even if there's no one else living in your house, there are the memories of other people.

Whatever. I'm a crazy person. But yes. I'm trying to find more good things in the everyday. And there are lots. School just kinda gets in the way. No time to go out and find these things. No time to go see the people that make my days brighter.

I'm trying to get people together to go for drinks on Monday in celebration of my birthday. I don't know if anyone will come. People are pretty busy this time of year.

Made mini-invites for Belly of the Whale today at work. I got bored in the afternoon, so I went nuts with Photoshop. They're cute.

Listening to Nighthawks. Every time I hear Doves' "Reprise" I expect "Losing My Religion" to come on after it, because that's the order it was in on a mixtape I made back in high school. I can't remember what that one was called. Cetera Desunt, I think: The Rest is Missing. Maybe it was The In-Between Seasons. I can't remember.

Someday I will find a version of this boy for my very own. He will have little glimmers of things I remember and he will be kind and affectionate and nerdy and maybe just a little wild below the surface. We will geek out about music and lose track of time talking about what exists at the point where the universe ends. I will kiss him in a snowstorm, and we will have days where we refuse to get out of bed. He won't be the same though. I'll never find someone exactly like him. I just wish I could keep this version.

Okay, these renders are taking too long. I'm starting to say dumb things. If you're reading this, just let me know already.

Behind the Scenes, yo!

Haha, okay, so Ben, a former classmate who played engineer Kenneth in Joel's film Ghostvase directed this short documentary on robotic friend Irwin 3000 (a.k.a. Peter) between takes. I'm in there briefly carrying a cake.

Enjoy!

Dear Cold/Flu,

GTFO! I have work to do! I cannot operate when I am coughing so hard that I throw up, thanks.

Oh, and take your friends nausea, stuffy nose, and dizziness with you. They are not welcome.

Tweet tweet mothatrucka.

Lalala, I've had a Twitter for awhile. Most of you probably don't, but if you want to add me, the username is "_kerrin".

Whut up. I need more acetaminophen.

Om Nom Cookies!

Adam left me some kinda of ginger sugar cookie in the sound suite. Dude wins at cookies.

SO. EFFING. GOOD.

In other news, I have ze flu.

Doing better today.

Had some really effed up dreams last night with earthquakes and carnivals and dead bunnies. It probably says something about me that I don't consider that a nightmare, but I don't know what that could be.

Not feeling any bitterness or anger or anything today. Which is good, because I really don't need that shit in my life. General calmness with a side of melancholy lite. But it's foggy out today and I love the fog, especially in the spring and autumn, and I get to go to Pete's on my way to work and get a chicken club sammy. Those things are amazing. Then tonight I get to work with Wes, which is always entertaining. I've never met someone more enthusiastic about slightly concave pieces of glass before.

Anyway.

I'm trying to find the positive stuff, like you said. I'm starting to, bit by bit.

Bah and humbug.

Last night I had crazy nightmares about things I couldn't see in the dark outside my door. It made me grumpy when I woke up. So today I'm letting myself just feel however I want. It's kind of rollercoasterish. For example, I was sad and pissy until about 20 minutes ago when I started making spaghetti sauce. Now I'm mellow and hungry.

I feel that given the circumstances I'm allowed to feel however the fuck I want right now and express it. I think it's working, since Heather Y stopped me at Prince St. and asked what was wrong.

But yes. Today is not about keeping up appearances, it's not about seeing the bright side. Today is about me just being able to sulk if I want and then start laughing for no reason if I want.

I deserve at least that.
Her new song, "Why Bother?" is really good. It's also amazing quality for having been recorded on her iPhone. Damn I want me one of those. You should check out Allison's blog. She's wicked cool, mainly cause her music is awesome and she posts stuff like this.

So go look.

And yes, let's make out today. You, me, everyone.

That made my day a little better. That, and font-hunting.

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LOLOLOL WORK

Wooo, sound edit time of the year again! The computer I'm editing on is identical to my home compy, so it's nice and familiar. iMac, fo shizzle! Except this one seems to be named Burtt. Hello, Burtt.

It is raining like nobody's business here in Halifax today. Pissing. And it's windy on top of that. And cold. I wouldn't mind so much if I didn't have a frillion things to do today that involved going outside and waiting for busses. Meh. Least it means I am less inclined to go for a stroll and a smoke. Which my lungs appreciate.

Soooo. I am considering actually celebrating my birthday this year. Your 22nd is a weird one to pick for a party, but whatevs. Mostly it's an excuse to invite all my friends over before they graduate and move away and just have fun and get shitfaced. Nothing wrong with that. What do you guys think? I wouldn't have it on my actual birthday. I'd probably wait until ishyface was in town and have it on the 26th or something, which is a Sunday. I tried doing it last year, but I ended up with only two other people confirmed. This year, classes will be over and I live in the city so it shouldn't be a problem for people to get there.

Speaking of ishyface, hir arrival is a mere 26 days away! I should start making plans! What awesome things should we do for which we would provide photographic proof? :D

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The Mixtape

"The revolution wasn't bad
We hit the streets with all we had
A tape recording with the sound
Of the Velvet Underground
A K-Way jacket torn to shreds
And a dream inside our heads
And after changing everything
They couldn't tell we couldn't sing."

-Stars, "Soft Revolution".

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